Jessica Chasmar

Culture on the rocks with a splash of snark

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  • September 2017 (1)
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Posts By Jessica Chasmar

0 Democrat brings the vom factor in hilariously tone-deaf tweet

  • September 18, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

I’m still in awe of Rep. Ted Lieu’s tweet last night at the Emmys. It reads like a joke, but he’s 100% serial:

About to see a bunch of my constituents. #Emmys pic.twitter.com/EVuSkamwIC

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) September 17, 2017

I don’t know whether to 😂 😭 or🤢

To put this kooky Californian into context, he’s the same guy who famously floated a murder conspiracy theory about the suicide of Republican operative Peter Smith.

You don’t need to be a prosecutor to know that someone writing NO FOUL PLAY WHATSOEVER in connection with a death seems awfully suspicious.

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) July 14, 2017

 

3 ‘Cause nothing else makes sense…

  • August 17, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

So basically, I hate everything right now. I’d rather take a relaxing soak in an alkali bath than comment further about the week’s events than I already have on social media. Thus, I am posting this hilarious nut-cracking ceremonial first pitch last night at Fenway Park by cancer survivor Jordan Leandre.

Ceremonial first pitch to the nuts. pic.twitter.com/UHTd4CGyK4

— Jared Carrabis (@Jared_Carrabis) August 16, 2017

Here’s the view from the unlucky recipient: photojournalist Tony Capobianco.

My camera man @TonyCapobianco is the poor guy that took that first pitch in the McNuggets. Here’s his view of it coming in. pic.twitter.com/NVD70hiIn2

— Chris Mason (@ByChrisMason) August 16, 2017

I’m the one who got hit and I will never stop laughing at that video https://t.co/9lDHhbcnGO

— Tony Capobianco (@TonyCapobianco) August 17, 2017

To make matters worse, I’m a pitcher 🤦🏻‍♂️

— Jordan Leandre (@Jordan_BBS) August 16, 2017

😂😂😂

0 Attention-starved professor wears combat gear to class on first day of campus carry

  • August 8, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

An attention-seeking college professor decided to make a statement last week by wearing combat gear to class on the first day of campus carry.

Charles K. Smith, an adjunct professor of geography at San Antonio College, strolled into class wearing a camouflage bulletproof vest and helmet last Tuesday — the first day students were finally able to reclaim their Second Amendment rights.

“I was just saying I don’t feel safe,” Smith told mySA.com. (Because if you’re truly afraid for your life, bringing a vest to a gun fight totally makes sense.)

The new Texas law allows individuals who are licensed to carry concealed handguns to pack heat on community college campuses. Texas universities saw a similar law go into effect on Aug. 1, 2016, though all but one of the private universities in the state appallingly opted out.

“It definitely makes me feel uneasy that there are more firearms on campus than there really should be,” Smith said. “[Dressing this way] was just a statement on how I felt.”

The professor acknowledged that some people were already carrying guns on campus illegally, but curiously argued that it’s more dangerous now that they’re allowed to under the law.

“I realize students were carrying guns on campus illegally, but now it’s legal to do so. It increases the chances of something happening,” Smith said. “Used to, when they got mad at me, they had to go home to get the gun and had time to cool off, now they will have it with them.”

“My assumption is that you will have more people carrying guns, that well lead to problems. It always has,” he said. “There is nothing on this planet worth a human life.”

Not surprisingly, Smith’s stunt gained quite the reaction on campus and social media.

“Some of them were OK and some of them weren’t, but it’s freedom of speech,” Smith said. 

I agree it’s your First Amendment right to act like a fear-mongering man child. It’s also our First Amendment right to point and laugh at you. And if the ish ever hits the fan and you find yourself cowering behind a desk because you have nothing to defend yourself but your pencil and your ideas, I pray to God a licensed gun owner is there to protect you.

The Second Amendment, like all the others, is non-negotiable. We would never dream of regulating speech or due process by state, but we have somehow rolled over and allowed this rampant trampling of one of our most basic human rights to occur across the country. Texas and a handful of other states have seen the light. It’s time for others, including my home state of Florida, to follow suit.

There is no arguing for or against the Second Amendment — it’s right there in black and white and the blood of our Founders. There is no Constitution without it, and that’s exactly the kind of America people like Charles K. Smith envision. It’s time to say hell no.

1 J.K. Rowling finally apologizes (sort of) for stunningly false claim about Trump — 3 days too late

  • July 31, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

Harry Potter author and darling of the left J.K. Rowling has finally apologized (sort of) for a stunningly false tweetstorm against President Trump that racked up thousands of shares in the past three days.

Rowling’s original series of tweets on Friday called Trump “horrible” for seemingly ignoring the extended hand of a young boy confined to a wheelchair, who was visiting the White House during a July 24 “Victims of Obamacare” event.

The clip Rowling retweeted, which was deleted long before her apology came, left out the beginning of the encounter when the president payed special attention to the boy.

“That clip of Trump looking deliberately over a disabled child’s head, ignoring his outstretched hand, has touched me on the raw,” Rowling wrote in a series of now-deleted tweets. “My mother used a wheelchair. I witnessed people uncomfortable around her disability, but if they had a shred of decency they got over it. (unless related to him by ties of blood, and therefore his creations) [people are] treated with contempt, because they do not resemble Trump. This monster of narcissism values only himself and his pale reflections. The disabled, minorities, transgender people, the poor, women. Trump imitated a disabled reporter. Now he pretends not to see a child in a wheelchair, as though frightened he might catch his condition.”

As you can see in the clip below, her entire rant is based on a complete lie.

So @jk_rowling is on a tirade about how Trump ignored a kid in a wheelchair, but she conveniently left out the clip from the beginning: pic.twitter.com/v3tBXI8WY9

— エリック (@scratch_point) July 28, 2017

A woman claiming to be the mother of the boy had reportedly asked others on social media to contact Rowling and set the record straight.

“If someone can please get a message to J.K. Rowling: Trump didn’t snub my son & Monty wasn’t even trying to shake his hand,” Marjorie Kelly Weer wrote on Facebook. “(1. He’s 3 and hand shaking is not his thing, 2. he was showing off his newly acquired secret service patch). Thanks.”

Rowling tweeted the following statement Monday evening:

“Re: my tweets about the small boy in a wheelchair whose proferred hand the president appeared to ignore in press footage, multiple sources have informed me that that was not a full or accurate representation of their interaction. I very clearly projected my own sensitivities around the issue of disabled people being overlooked or ignored onto the images I saw and if that caused any distress to that boy or his family, I apologise unreservedly. These tweets will remain, but I will delete the previous ones on the subject.”

Notice she didn’t apologize to Trump for smearing him. 

It’s also worth noting that Rowling issued multiple tweets in the time between her anti-Trump tirade and her apology, even after several high-profile critics called her out on it, including fellow British liberal Piers Morgan.

I’m not squirming.
But I will keep on this until she deletes those tweets. Using a disabled boy to falsely smear someone is disgraceful. https://t.co/HpXXjXcO58

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 30, 2017

It was shameful and irresponsible for such a prominent fiction writer to tweet fiction as fact and then let that lie continue to spread over the course of three days. I suppose it’s good that Rowling deleted the tweets and apologized to the boy and his family, but Trump deserves an apology, too. Any decent person would know that. But I’m not holding my breath.

Chelsea Clinton also not-so-surprisingly fell for the lie. This explanation left me asking, “Huh?”

Hello Piers-I hadn’t seen the full video until now. I removed the retweet. And, the President should have shaken the boy’s hand at the end.

— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) July 30, 2017

4 Bunny Ranch brothel offers Sean Spicer PR gig

  • July 21, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

Sean Spicer already has a job offer after his not-so-surprising departure from the White House. The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, subject of HBO’s 2002 series “Cathouse,” has offered him the opportunity to get into a different kind of prostitution, repping for the legal Nevada brothel.

“I have some very knowledgable connections on the Trump team, and they’re telling me that the president was angry over [Spicer’s] missteps in front of the press,” brothel owner Dennis Hof said in a statement that popped up in my inbox this afternoon. “I think Sean will really flourish with a change of scenery, and I’m thinking that a spot on my public relations team may be the perfect place for him.”

Judging from Hof’s demeanor on “Cathouse,” this next statement seems highly plausible:

“I get compared to Trump for a lot of reasons,” he said. “We’ve both had huge media presences for decades now. My public relations guys are the best at maintaining that, and they could be a really good influence on Sean, serving as mentors in a business that’s a lot cleaner than politics…legal prostitution.”

Hof, a Trump-supporting libertarian (I knew I liked him), who unsuccessfully ran for Reno’s state Senate seat last year, said he’s willing to offer Spicer a significantly higher salary than he was used to getting under Trump.

“There’s a reason that everyone graduates from jobs in presidential administrations to the private sector,” Hof laughed. “Once I negotiate an incentive package with Sean, he’s going to be real happy here on Team Bunny Ranch.”

The press release didn’t say how much the Bunny Ranch is willing to offer for the job but revealed that past incentives included free “booty passes” to explore, ahem, the ranch’s attractions.

Sounds like a sweet deal, and not a far stretch from what Spicer was doing in the White House. In journalism school we always (lovingly, of course) called the PR kids prostitutes, so prostituting for prostitutes (whoring for whores?) seems doubly appropriate.

0 Societal rejects harass Chick-fil-A diners, steal fisherman’s catch in name of animal equality

  • July 14, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

A band of societal rejects filmed themselves this week harassing Chick-fil-A diners and releasing a fisherman’s catch without his consent — all in the name of equal rights for animals.

Members of the group Direct Action Everywhere stormed into a Chick-fil-A in Pinellas Park, Florida, on Tuesday, holding fake knives and covered in blood as confused onlookers participated in the restaurant’s Cow Appreciation Day.

Check it out here:

Animal rights activist Kayla Leaming, wife of the man who recorded the incident, told the Tampa Bay Times that Chick-fil-A is guilty of speciesism.

“It’s normalizing violence, and perpetuating the idea that one life is more valuable than another life just because of the body you’re born into,” she said.

That’s rights, folks. Apparently we’re “ists” if we think we’re more valuable than chickens. Granted, this group’s behavior is unhinged, annoying, intrusive, and self-defeating, but equally unhinged is the woman attacking the man filming and trying to grab his camera. Note to readers: If you find yourself in this uncomfortable situation, keep your cool and call the police, wait for management to intervene or leave. Your children aren’t going to be irreparably damaged because someone yelled “meat is murder” in their presence, but they are going to be damaged by witnessing their mother completely lose it. She should have used it as a learning opportunity to teach her children that those rabble-rousing losers are the result of years of personal failures, and that people who are happy, kind and secure with their lives shouldn’t feel the need to project their own irrational fears on a captive audience.

Activists with the same group later confronted a family fishing in Crescent Lake Park in St. Petersburg and threw the family’s freshly caught dinner back into the water without their permission.

The Leamings again proudly posted footage of the confrontation online, which showed them sending their young son in as a prop to spew their unsolicited propaganda on a family enjoying their afternoon outdoors. After nearly four minutes of loudly berating two of the men for fishing, Mike Leaming grabbed their tilapia and chucked it into the water.

Watch this:

One of the fishermen, identified as 35-year-old Bob Hope, called the police, but the activists were already leaving the scene when an officer arrived, police spokeswoman Yolanda Fernandez told the Tampa Bay Times.

Police have declined to press charges against the Leamings, despite being inundated with complaints.

“I only shared it on social media because the police officers did nothing to protect my rights,” Mr. Hope told the Times. “If there were people fishing all over the lake, and these people showed up, that’s a protest. We were fishing by ourselves when we were ambushed. That’s not a protest, that’s harassment.”

“By the way, that fish was an invasive tilapia,” he added. “They’re destroying the ecosystem and killing our bass population.”

See that, dummies? If you would have spent one minute chatting with the locals instead of breathlessly vomiting your garbage, maybe you would have come to some understanding as to why population control can be necessary and why you need to find joy in your life.

This video is trickier for me to analyze because I, personally, would be infuriated if someone did this to me. I’m not an expert, but once that fish is caught legally, it’s yours fair and square, and I would 100% consider this theft or destruction of property. But again, the fishermen could have dealt with these idiots a little bit better. Protect your catch, stand your ground and do not engage — not in the slightest. If the harassment continues, record them and call the police, but don’t get up in their faces and start screaming. It could lead to a fight or even worse, and at the end of the day, it is just a fish.

In the current political climate, when it appears everyone has reached their absolute boiling point, it’s a valuable asset to be able to calmly stop and ask yourself, “Is this really worth it?”

2 Watch this truck run over a fracking protester

  • July 12, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

British police are beefing up their presence at a heavily-protested fracking site in Lancashire after a demonstrator was hit by a utility truck Monday.

The protester was doing what is known as “slow walking,” where demonstrators obstruct a road or highway by blocking vehicles. The guy got what was expected when he darted in front of the fast-moving truck, and he luckily walked away with just bruises. Police caught up with the driver but no charges were filed. Watch below:

0 Don’t be a Lena Dunham

  • July 10, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · News · Podcasts

“Ignorance and close-mindedness is what breeds people like Lena Dunham and allows extremists to thrive.”

Click to play:

https://breakingbeltway.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/podcast-7-10-17.mp3

4 Leslie Jones accuses Ritz-Carlton of hating black people in 140 characters, promptly falls off face of the earth

  • June 28, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

“Saturday Night Live” comedian Leslie Jones issued an explosive tweet, without any explanation, accusing the Ritz-Carlton in downtown Los Angeles of mistreating black people.

“Wow was such a great night at the BET awards. But then had THE WORST STAY @RitzCarlton DO NOT STAY THERE!! THEY DONT LIKE BLACK PEOPLE!!” she wrote Monday night.

That was two days ago. The “Ghostbusters” star hasn’t been heard from since. The Ritz and its sister hotel JW Marriott Los Angeles both responded to Jones’ tweet asking for more information.

We’re very sorry to hear this. We pride ourselves on providing excellent service to all. Please DM us & we’ll look into this right away.

— The Ritz-Carlton (@RitzCarlton) June 27, 2017

We will be happy to have this addressed, if you wish. If you would like us to proceed, please dm the requested info. -Ari

— Marriott Rewards (@MarriottRewards) June 27, 2017

According to the New York Daily News, Jones’ rep is nowhere to be found either. The Brandman Agency, the hotel chain’s PR agency, said it has also made multiple attempts to reach Jones.

“Diversity and inclusion are part of the fabric of The Ritz-Carlton’s culture and operations,” the agency said. “We remain committed to providing an environment where all feel welcome.”

Hotel manager Curtis Kent told the Daily News that staff was investigating the allegation. Apparently, they haven’t gotten to the bottom of it either.

Meanwhile, Ms. Jones’ damning tweet continues to hang in the Twitterverse like rotting fruit. While many criticized the comedian for playing the race card haphazardly, others applauded her for speaking out against discrimination. Some even threatened a boycott of Ritz-Carlton hotels.

I’m not going to say something didn’t happen to Jones during her stay. I wasn’t there. I’m also aware that discrimination is still a real problem in this country and that it’s entirely possible Jones was mistreated due to her race. But the way she has gone about alerting the world of this purported misdeed is irresponsible. The things celebrities say can have an immediate impact on businesses and people’s lives. Her unsubstantiated tweet did nothing but add anger, racial hatred and confusion to an already simmering political climate. With the growing skepticism and downright apathy that come with the era of anonymous sources and fake news, Jones has done little to help her cause.

Ironically, she said during an interview prior to her hosting the BET Awards that she’s “tired of everybody being sad and angry.”

“I want people to just downright laugh,” she told People magazine. “You can’t do the event without touching on certain things, but I’m trying to make it all funny. It’s really just about pulling the elephants out of the room and, actually, I’ll make the elephant in the room laugh about it.”

UPDATE: Jones has since emerged from her cave, though still no mention of the Ritz-Carlton incident.

How can you mend a broken heart 💔….

— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) June 28, 2017

0 Charleston RiverDogs, apparently still living in 2011, apologize for lampooning Tim Tebow’s faith

  • June 22, 2017
  • by Jessica Chasmar
  • · Blog Posts · News

So I guess mocking Tim Tebow is still a thing.

The Charleston RiverDogs minor league baseball team said they were just “poking fun” when they repeatedly satirized Tim Tebow’s Christian faith during a three-game series against the Columbia Fireflies over the weekend.

Tebow, an outfielder for the Fireflies, and his celebrity fame secured three sold-out games for the RiverDogs at Riley Park, but that didn’t stop them from trolling the Heisman Trophy winner for being an outspoken follower of Christ.

According to The Post and Courier, the “Hallelujah Chorus” played every time Tebow approached the plate, and the team’s mascot, Charlie, wore eye black reading “John 3:16” — something the former quarterback did while playing for the Florida Gators. Charlie was also seen “Tebowing,” a viral 2011 meme originating from Tebow’s Denver days when he would kneel in prayer after a successful play.

I’ve caught the Tebow fever. pic.twitter.com/l0UeNOqHQw

— Charlie T. RiverDog (@charlieriverdog) June 17, 2017

In other taunts unrelated to faith, a giant video screen in right field read “Not Tim Tebow” every time a Fireflies player came up to bat and also showed a picture of Tebow crying after the Gators’ 2009 SEC Championship loss to Alabama, The Post and Courier reported.

RiverDogs president and general manager Dave Echols issued an apology Tuesday following considerable backlash on social media for the stunt.

“While we believe that our promotions were poking fun at Mr. Tebow’s celebrity status rather than his religion or baseball career, our intent was not to offend anyone, and for the fact that we did offend, we are sorry,” Echols said. “Of the many promotional pieces that we executed, there were a handful on Friday’s game that some construed as in poor taste, and we made it a focus to remove those elements and celebrate Mr. Tebow the remainder of his time in Charleston.”

Now, this isn’t something I can get too outraged about. With Tebow’s history, it’s incredibly likely that he found it was all in fun as well. But I do find it a bit annoying. As someone who attended the University of Florida and worked for a city newspaper during Tebow’s heyday, I’ve witnessed firsthand the utter contempt non-Christian liberals have for a man (who won them two national championships, mind you) just because he refused to keep quiet about his faith. It’s something that started at UF and continued throughout his entire career. Remember the buzz created in 2012 when he was traded from Denver to uber liberal New York? Commentators said he was entering the enemy camp. And now they’re comparing the NFL’s treatment of Colin Kaepernick to Tebow, in that no one wants to take on the media circus that comes with signing them.

It’s amazing that being a white male Christian is so controversial, but these are the times we’re living in now. The funny fact is that while the liberal media remains skeptical of Tebow, the people can’t get enough of him: His presence in Charleston over the weekend caused the RiverDogs to sell out the three-game series in advance for the first time ever. Dubbed the “Tebow effect,” Baseball America estimates that Tebow brings in an additional $44,200 per game.

The RiverDogs beat the Fireflies twice in the series.

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